Tag Archive: power


Happy Sunday Ppls!!!

This quote is right on! The more and more I see it I truly believe that people who are successful at their dreams do not have qualities better than ours. They just tend to have a will and need to succeed. They push hard to make their dreams real, while most people just take the easy road and believe dreams can never become real. Which one are you?










Happy Sunday!!!

I do truly believe that the universe gives you dreams and desires with complete knowledge that you have the power to make them true. The only that usually needs to convinced of this is us.



Thursday April 18th, 2013


Alrigties I have two videos for you all today. Music is very important for my work outs. It is what keeps me pushing set after set, especially towards the end when I have been pushing for an hour or so. One of THE songs that just gives me that oomph….that mean push to keep going is Mercy by Kanye West.

I use this song for my hard exercises. Here is an example in which I ALWAYS use this song for. I use it a lot during my leg days, but especially at the end when I do Barbell Step-Ups. In these exercises you put a barbell over your shoulders, like you do when you are going to do a squat, then step up and down on a platform.


Depending on the day I can go from having 20lbs to 30lbs on the barbell. Then I push to do at least 12 reps for sets 1 and 2. During that time the song plays almost to the end and I have to restart it at some point. By the time I get to the 3rd set I am set up at the beginning of Kanye’s part. On my third set I set myself up to do 12 reps in each leg. After those 12 reps I begin alternating my legs as I step up and down the platform. I keep going until the end of the song. I do not let myself stop until the song has stopped. By the end not only is my heart rate up, but I am a little sweaty and feeling like a BEAST! I feel so strong and powerful. Like yeah! I just did all that and now WHAT?! I am also finished and ready to hit the showers….that is why I leave it until the end.

I just like the pace of the song and the intensity of it. I do need that male energy in my head blazing when pushing hard. I don’t know what it is…..probably the testosterone energy they are giving off, but I just need that. Not a love song or a club beat, but a hard core song. Which is what this song provides. No, I do not know all the lyrics and I am sure they are not all nice, but whatevers. It is not what matters to me. What matters is that it can trigger my motivation to keep pushing. Have an awesome Thursday!

Mercy by Kanye West

(This is the explicit version.)

Green, Pink, and the start

Saturday February 9th, 2013

Good Morning Beautiful Dollies,

Well as you all kinda know….well I hope you know. I love BEAUTY and I love what make-up can do to not only bring out your BEAUTY, but make it shine! So I wanted to start posting just pics of me trying on different make-up looks. These will be very short entries, but I really would like to show you all that putting on make-up is not a gift some people are born with. Yes, some do have a natural tendency to be very creative and with little work be able to create extraordinary pieces of art with make-up. Yet, for most of us we work hard at it.

I watched many youtube videos. I would try make-up when I would just have some free time to do it. Yes, you have to make time and you have to put in effort, but all of you can learn how to make up your face and make it super special.

This one was one of my first attempts at make-up. I had seen the ad for the Barbie look and wanted to try it out. Didn’t come out exactly the same, but its alright. I might try it again!




These pictures are a bit after I began loosing weight. You can definitely see a difference. I didn’t back then 😛

Well my blending is not THAT bad. lol


Giving up the peace sign. Very Koreanish. I was in South Korea here. 🙂


This was the look I was going for….its KINDA there. lol


My Right to be Barbie

Evening my beautiful dollies,

I was out with my sister one night as we drove away from her house she said something like this: “I want to know what you are thinking now ( I assumed she meant now, after the weight loss change). You are so weird.” I didn’t really understand what she meant by “weird”. I think she meant my change, not only my weight change, but the way I act, my thoughts, the way I dress, my look. I am someone totally different from who I was.

This blog is becoming quite muddled in my head. It is very difficult trying to steer it in a certain path as I keep trying to keep it from its true path. I am done with that. I will take this blog in the path it was meant to be taken, not the one I took it out of fear of judgment.

“Join with all those who experiment, take risks, fall, get hurt and then take more risks. Stay away from those who affirm truths, who criticize those who do not think like them, people who have never taken a step unless they were sure they would be respected for doing so, and who prefer certainties to doubts.”-The Way of the Bow by Paulo Coehlo

I am currently in love with the writings of Paulo Coelho. As I read his books I interpret so many of the things he writes about to things connected to my life. I am currently reading The Way of the Bow because I was having some difficulties moving forward with my growth. I believe part of that was because I was trying to hide who I am and what I am working for. I will no longer do that. I will be honest with all and live the life how I wish to live it.

“‘Now I release this arrow knowing that I took the necessary risks and gave my best.’” The Way of the Bow by Paulo Coehlo.

If I offend your sensibilities let me just state right now that I have a deep belief that we are all destined to a specific path and when we follow it life flows, life is happy, life is exciting. When we move away from that path or when we chose another to follow our lives become darken by something and the happiness we do live is grey and monotone. As many of you know I was 220 lbs about a year and a half ago. I know stand at 140lbs. Give or take a pound (-_-) Claiming that my diet and exercise is the only reason for the change is cheating my success and lying to you as well. My whole life I have craved to be wanted, desired, beautiful, sexy, sensual, a true object of beauty to be pleasing to the eye. A Barbie.


I want to walk into the room and be truly desired. No, not just want. I desire it and get a thrill from it. It gives me the highest rush to walk across a dance floor and know that every man in that club is looking at me. It makes my head lift high and feel proud. Before, 220lbs. before, that kind of situation would of made my head lower and try to rush through the dance floor to hide. Instead of following my path what did I do? I buried my desire in a mound of fat. 100lbs of fat. Buried my desire and my beauty as deep as possible.


The question here is why? FEAR. I did not want to be seen as a slut, a whore, a bimbo, by other women. Not only by the strange woman in line to go see a movie, but my sisters, my cousins, and especially my mother. Nothing is more fearsome to us then another woman judging us. Isn’t that true? Thinking over what they will think if you wear a short dress or if you make a choice to get implants. That somehow the way I chose to live my life is wrong because it not follows the “norm”, it doesnt not show “self-respect”. I say that because that is what I thought when I used to see the big boob, blonde, high heel, tight short skirt, women passing by. Thought how scandalous she was and how “sad” because she lived her life trying to stand out. Trying to be pleasing, yet deep inside I was jealous she didn’t care one grain of salt about what I thought. She lived the life she wanted. Dressed how she desired and received the attention she wanted.

We bury ourselves in shyness, fat, dress down, whatever it takes to please other women. We leave  being our dreams far behind. We never can be a barbie doll. I am here to stop that. I want to be a barbie doll, I want to be beautiful. I want to use make up to make my face a piece of art. I want clothes to decorate myself, stand out. I want to be desired, and I believe I have the right to be.

This blog has been desiring to go down its path of fitness, diet, beauty, make-up, heels, clothes, skin care, everything that a Barbie does to be a doll. Now that I have made it clear I do believe this blog will flow smoother as will my life. Now that I am no longer hiding it or trying to find other words for what I am.


This is who I am and what I believe.





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